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diff --git a/www/content/posts/past-review-0.md b/www/content/posts/past-review-0.md deleted file mode 100644 index 5684a10..0000000 --- a/www/content/posts/past-review-0.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,81 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: "Past Review 0" -date: 2022-12-03T14:16:49+08:00 -categories: Essay -tags: -- English -- jibber-jabber -- past-review -description: This is the first article in the past-review series. -draft: true ---- -## Why - -Everybody has a past since the day they were born. So do I. The past -events affect our present life somehow. I have a lot of old things to -tell. Therefore, this is the new topic *Past Review*, in which I will -write down some of the old things. I think writing down them would -somehow release me from them. - -It is a little boring for me to stay at the hospital seeing different -people doing different things with few tools I can use. But luckily, I -get my computer and smartphone here. They enable me to write something -conveniently. - -By the way, I think my English writing skills downgrades quickly. Bad -vocabulary, bad grammar, and bad fluency. It might be related to my long -time without writing in English or my mind is kind of chaotic currently. -But I continue to write this in English. Because I don't ever expect -somebody would read this except myself. And this is also a start of -practice. - -## At First - -At first, it backs to when I was studying at No.1 High School Attached -to CCNU at 2016 (or maybe 2015) for my second year of high school -education. My illness starts at one day when I got up very late. - -It was not the first time I got up late. It was quite common for me to -get up late and I was always feeling sleepy at morning. Sometimes I got -up late and went to classroom later with my name in the list of getting -late. - -But that time, I just lay on my bed without any move. Then somehow my -mother, who were working at my dormitory as an everyday life teacher, -found I don't go to classroom. - -And that's the first time or maybe not the first time, I got **stuck** -on something I don't know. - -My mother then called my father to school. What I said is not remembered -by me. What I do remember is that I said I didn't want to study in that -school because from middle school I had been against studying there all -the time, although it was one of the best high schools across China. - -My father was angry. I don't remember what he said either. But like -above, I do remember he said should I go to local high school, I would -have to keep my grades good in the top 50. It's not a totally ridiculous -requirement. But whatever, it's mean. And I feel bad. - -The worst thing is that it was the first time of me to feel broken and -freaking out. I felt I was going to be crazy and the earth down my feet -was rotating. I told my father about these feelings. He was silent then. - -Then we went to a nearby hospital for a psychology doctor. After the -doctor asked me some questions and I answered her that I never felt -happy, she thought I got depression and made a prescription including -some Chinese Ancient medicine and a small machine to stimulate sleeping. - -That day I felt awful. And since then, big change of my whole life -happened nearly every day. - -## Temporarily Stop - -I know my expression looks wired somehow. Again, it might be caused by -my chaotic mind and memory. And I'm not so good at writing long English -article. - -But the most important thing is not how good this assay is. The -important thing is I remember some of my old memories and I can write -them down. The only demand is that the text should be understood by at -least myself. |